2012 quotes from my daughter

With all the funny things my daughter says over the course of the year, I thought it would be appropriate to share some of it with you all. Hope you get a chuckle!

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January:

1/5 Hannah, this morning, while getting her coat on to leave the house, put her hood on her head and started running around the kitchen yelling “I’m a super hero! I’m a super hero! I’m a super hero super goofball!”

1/7 Hannah, while looking at the cover of a book with the word God in the title, promptly announces, “Hey! I found God!”

1/10 Hannah informed me that I couldn’t eat her (I was pretending to eat her hand) because she is not pizza.

1/17 NHPR reporter: “…Fifteen hundred donors…”
Hannah: “Mommy! Did you hear that? He said fifteen million donuts!”

1/24 Hannah: Oh for the love of grapes!

1/26 Hannah: Mommy, you better watch out, or I’m going to swipe you in the chicken nuggets!

1/27 John: We should go to….
Hannah: We should go to Flatbreads!

1/28 Hannah to our cat, Molly: Molly! Get off the counter! If I see you on the counter again, I’m going to wipe frosting all over you!

February

2/4 Started teaching Hannah to knit tonight. We made it through about 2 rows before she says “Okay, I think I’m done with this tonight, but boy, that was fun!”

2/17 Hannah, while I’m brushing her hair: Oh for seven hakes!

2/27 Hannah: I wish I could be a princess.
Me: Why’s that? Not all girls are princesses, you know.
Hannah: I know. But, I’m cute, so I should be a princess.

March

3/1 Hannah: Mom, what are you going to be when you grow up?
Me: I’m going to be a mom.
Hannah: No, you have to BE someone!
Me: Being a mom is someone!
Hannah: No, you’re not someone anymore!
Me: ……..

3/11 Hannah: I WANT SOME HOT CHOCOLATE!
Me: You’re too wound up for hot chocolate!
Hannah: NO I’M NOT!
Me: Then why are you yelling??
Hannah: BECAUSE I WANT HOT CHOCOLATE!!!!!

3/13 Hannah: Hmm, that’s weird.
Me: What’s weird?
Hannah: I don’t have a mustasche or some boots!

3/14 Hannah: I want to be a grown-up someday!
John: What are you going to do when you’re a grown up?
Hannah: Oh, stuff grown-ups are supposed to do, like buy cookies, and lots of stuff like that.

3/22 Hannah: Mommy, can we listen to the Dragon Age music?
Me: Sure!
Hannah: Oh good. I love the Dragon Age song.

3/29 Me: I can’t wait until we get the new TV into the living room. It’s so big!
Hannah: So let’s put it down there!
Me: Well, we need to get a new thing to hang it up with.
Hannah: Maybe we can put it on really big nails?
Me: We need a special thing to hang it up on the wall so it won’t fall.
Hannah: So it won’t fall on the Xbox? That would make a really loud noise. I wouldn’t like that noise.

3/30 Hannah: Mommy, I’m still hungry!
Me: Why does that not surprise me?!
Hannah: Maybe I should have some fruit chews? [fruit snacks]
Me: Umm, no, not for breakfast.
Hannah: But I haven’t had any since last year!

3/30 Hannah: Mommy, you can’t tickle me. Mommies aren’t allowed to tickle.
Me: They’re not???? Get out of town!
Hannah: What? I can’t get out of town! I live here!!

April

4/1 Hannah: Mommy! I’m running a restaurant and I’m making sure the food is fresh! Now I’m going to taste it and make sure it’s good!

4/9 Hannah: Oh, Jesus Christ!
Me: Hannah! Don’t say that!
Hannah: Why, it will make Jesus sad?

4/21 Hannah saw a kid using their scooter at the park. Her exact words before trying it were “I don’t know what that thing does, but it sure is great!”

4/22 Hannah: We used to play with toys, a long, long time ago, when I was three.

4/23 Sitting at the table, going through some of John’s stuff, Hannah says “Oh! Look at all this! Mommy! I’m going to play D & D! I’ve got the dice, and the guys, and some paper and a pen and… oh! Do you want to play D & D with me?”

May

5/12 Tonight, while laying with Hannah in bed, after she’d put on her Disney princess night gown:
Me: You’re a smartie pants!
Hannah: No, I’m a girly nightgown!

5/13 Hannah: Mommy! You have spikes on your legs!
Me: Thanks Hannah, thanks for noticing I need to shave.

5/21 Things you never think you’ll ever, in 10 million years, say to your kid, #147: “No, sweetie, putting on clean underwear will not make you sparkle.”

5/27 Today, while Hannah was snacking on animal crackers: “This one looks like a wolf!”
Me: “Okay, it could be a wolf.”
Hannah: “Yeah, either that or an aardvark.”

June

6/9 Me: Hannah, what’s a transformer?
Hannah: It’s a matter-of-fact.
Me: What’s a matter-of-fact?
Hannah: It’s a transformer.

6/9  Evidently, Hannah has a Barbie that wears a headband called the “Butterflies of Power.” Who knew?!

6/21 Took Hannah to get ice cream tonight, and as we leave, she says, “Ahh… I love happy endings!”

6/22 Hannah: Mommy, can I get one of those some day?
Me: Save your money!
Hannah: But I saved my money while I was sleeping!

6/25 Me: Whatcha doin’, spunky monkey?
Hannah: I’m not a monkey!
Me: You’re not?? What are you??
Hannah: I’m a pan-zee!
John: A chimpanzee?
Hannah: Yeah! A pan-zee!

July

7/4 Hannah: You look like you’re 71.
Me: …

August – None! Weird!

September

9/1 Hannah has just informed me that she is training for the Olympics.

9/4 Heads up everyone – Hannah just cancelled spring for next year.

9/9 Hannah: When can I have a baby in my tummy?
Me: You have to be a grown up for that.
Hannah: I’m just going to order one instead.
Me: Oh yeah? How do you do that?
Hannah: I’m just going to go to baby.com and then the baby delivery man will come and deliver me a baby.

9/17 Me: Hannah, eat two of your chicken fingers and you can be done.
Hannah: Mommy, are you trying to wreck my night??

9/26 Hannah: To be a pretty princess, I need pretty nail polish!
Me: I’m not putting pretty nail polish on you right now.
Hannah: You mean you’re not doing it today, don’t you?

October

10/22 Hannah: Mommy, I love you… but can you turn the radio up?

10/27 Hannah is playing outside with her dad, and asking him to help her spread some “magic girl power!” He, however, sounds completely unimpressed. Priceless!

10/29 Hannah: Do as I say or I’ll drop you!

10/29 Hannah: You guys are not allowed in my kingdom anymore!

November

11/5 “It makes me crazy all the time!!!” Hannah, when asked if she could believe it was already getting dark out.

11/6 Hannah: I want to vote for Barack Obama someday…
John: Why do you want to vote for Barack Obama?
Hannah: I just like him!
John: Do you want to vote for Mitt Romney someday?
Hannah: I want our president to keep being president!

11/15 Hannah: Why is all this Christmas stuff out? Did everyone forget about Thanksgiving?

11/22 Mariah Carey singing: All I want for Christmas is youuuuuu!
Hannah: I think all she wants for Christmas is me… But I have to stay home!

11/24 Hannah loves me more than a bowl of chicken nuggets. Oh, if only every mother could be so lucky!

11/26 Hannah: Mommy? What do I smell like on the inside?

11/29 Hannah: Woah. This is the biggest Yew Nork City I ever had!

December

12/1 Hannah (singing): Rudolph with your toes so bright…

12/2 Hannah, yelling at our dog Kane: Hey! Dog! Kane! Whatever!

12/5 Listening to Dave Brubeck’s “Blue rondo à la turque,” Hannah comes into the room. The following conversation ensues:
Hannah: What are you watching, Mommy?
Me: I’m not watching, I’m listening.
Hannah: Oh, I like it!
Me: You like this song?
Hannah: Yeah, I can get the groove of it!

12/8 Hannah: He doesn’t like Christmas!
Me: Who doesn’t like Christmas?
Hannah: The troll! He lives in Yew Nork City! He doesn’t even like french fries, he doesn’t even like lamps, he doesn’t even even like Christmas lights!

12/29 Hannah: When Hannah’s lunch is over, that means lunch is over, alright?

12/29 Hannah: But Daddy, there is ONE bad unicorn. He lives in Yew Nork City. He’s gonna eat all the people in Yew Nork City. Yeah, he has a giant mouth! And Daddy, remember, don’t go to Yew Nork City!

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