Okay, well, I guess I COULD say that my thing that I hate would be my inability to follow through on this. But that’s not it – yesterday was just super busy, and by the time I realized I hadn’t written, I was nodding off on the couch.
No, I think the thing I hate about myself is that I become overly attached to people so quickly, and I am crushed easily when I discover they do not reciprocate.
A prime example of this is when I had my first job out of college. I worked in an office, complete with cubicles. I tried really hard to fit in on so many levels – I decorated my cubicle, I wore the fashionable boots to work, I even had a coffee maker in my cubicle. I’d tag along with my office mates when they’d cross the road for lunch or to get a coffee on a very regular basis. I’d invite them over, go out for drinks, and thought I was doing really well.
Until I found out that I was not being included in many events happening outside of work – cookouts, get-togethers, etc.
Looking back on it now, I should care less – the people and I were very different, and they aren’t people I probably would have associated with in high school or college, so why should work be any different? But, hind sight is 20/20, and I would love to say that I’ve learned from this experience. And I have, but not as well as you’d think I would have.
I don’t have any other examples to share at the moment, but I know there are plenty others. It’s something I am continually trying to assess with myself, if for no reason other than that I don’t want to put myself through the disappointment of the discoveries again. I don’t believe this to be something I can “improve” on, because I think it’s just ingrained in me, just like I have the genetic code for brown hair or to be right handed. But keep myself in check, and things can only get better from there.